Aslan ma fi gay tabi3e*
That’s what Zouzou told me yesterday
while I was complaining about my exes and dates.
I’m starting to think that he’s right.
After all the people I’ve met,
I haven’t met a normal gay person,
or as normal as it gets.
It seems that every single one needs therapy,
intensive therapy for that matter.
Maybe I do too.
But is it so much to ask for a guy who is not full of complexes?
The Daddy Complex
18 year old twinks who don’t talk to you unless your 40+
Do they want a daddy figure in their lives?
Or do they just like to be dominated?
Or do they like saggy man boobs and viagra popping geezers?
But that’s the least of the complexes.
The Gold Digger
I’m young, still a student
Studying some artsy major that will never get me a good job
I don’t have a car and I need someone to drive me
from Baabda (location may vary) to Hamra everyday
Yup, let’s date and find someone who can spend all his money on me
I’m worth it, aren’t I?
No you fucking spoiled brat
Move your ass and find a job to support yourself
The Dumb Blond Complex
or in this case, the dumb bitch complex
(since they are mostly not blond).
These are guys that are attracted to ridiculously dumb twinks
and if you ever try to start a smart conversation with them
they dumb you for white trash with wide assholes.
I don’t get how someone can be with a clueless klutz
that can’t do anything by himself, lose his stuff all the time,
and isn’t even that hot!
The Can’t-get-it-up Syndrome
and mind you, I’m not talking about middle-aged men.
These are barely 20 year-olds
that have so much sexual frustration and extreme complexes
that they can’t even get their dick hard with their lover,
and cries every time he tries to get intimate with his boyfriend,
but would rather get their asses fucked by ugly geezers in cheap motels.
“I’m Getting Married” complex
Yes I’m gay
But I want to get married
for my parents, for my society
what will people say?
I’ll have fun till i’m 30,
35 tops,
but don’t worry, I’ll still play on the side.
I just can’t have people talking about me.
I’m Outa Here Complex
This guy doesn’t plan to stay in Lebanon
even though he doesn’t have any qualifying skills
or education or work experience or ambition.
All he knows is that he doesn’t want to stay here,
and this keeps him from having any sort of long-term relationships
even though he couldn’t successfully leave for the last ten years.
The Religiozilla
I know I’m different
I have tendencies
God is testing me.
I can’t have sex with a guy,
I can’t even kiss a guy,
I don’t want to get married,
I just want to hide here.
Maybe no one will notice me.
Maybe god will forgive me.
The Friends With Benefits Complex
This is the wannabe successful guy
who doesn’t have time for a relationship
who doesn’t want to get attached
who just wants to relieve his sexual tenancies
by being close to a circle of fuck buddies
or what he likes to call “friends with benefits”
who he drives around in his Ferrari
while they give him head.
The Sex Freaks
Horny boy
Home alone now in Achrafieh
Who wants to fill me up with his hot milk?
Bring your friends too
I can take them all 
Disgusting.
Can’t Get Over It Syndrome
This guy is still in love with his boyfriend
or crush or whatever you want to call it
from when he was 12 years old.
Every time commitment is near,
he brings up his fantasy feeling from 10 years ago
and ruins everything good he has
with the amazing guy who loves him.
The Honey Moon Syndrome
We have such a great thing going.
This relationship is the best thing that happened to me.
I’m just bored
I want fresh flesh
See ya!
Then he proceeds to block you on every social network,
phone number, watsapp, viber, bbm, you name it…
The Emotionally Schizophrenic (Mafsoum)
I love you.
I love someone else.
I don’t like you.
I love you.
Don’t ever leave me.
Let’s get married.
I hate you.
Get out of my face.
I don’t want a relationship.
I don’t want anyone other than you.
I Have Cancer Syndrome
And its not real cancer.
It’s fake cancer to create more drama
to put strain on a stressful relationship.
It’s the worst type of attention whoring
and desperate to stand out from the other drama queens
so be sure to give him all your empathy, love and attention.
NOT.
Why is it so hard to find a sweet cute guy
who’s smart, educated and willing to commit
with no sexual frustration?
That’s what normal is for me.
*Aslan ma fi gay tabi3e = There isn’t any normal gay guy
Normalcy is an illusion.
If you want to know whether or not all gay people are abnormal then here’s what to do to either disprove that statement or accidentally prove it
do you think you’re a normal gay?
As close to normal as I can be by my standards
With all due respect, from you comment, I think you do believe that it’s not you, me or anyone else are to set the rules for “normality”, which to me seems like the biggest lie ever told to human kind to have us abide by rules that would serve certain purposes. Your own standards should be applied to you, and to you only, and this article although humorous, and I find it sort of funny, stereotypes homosexuals.
As an answer to it I would say: Yes, I agree. There is not a homosexual who is “normal” by social standards(and your own apparently) but to these homosexuals’ own standards they can be as “normal” as they can be, or as crazy as they can be, and you have no right, none whatsoever to complain about that fact.
One thing I’m sick of is people keep telling me I’m stereotyping. Did I state anywhere that these represent all homosexuals without no exceptions? No. The whole notion of stereotyping is absurd. If I have expressed my opinion about things I’ve noticed in my life and tend to group some people, that doesn’t mean I am stereotyping. Every time I open my mouth, people say I’m stereotyping. People are just afraid to face reality.
And as I said, I have my standards for my normalcy and that’s what I’m looking for. This is my personal blog and I can sure as hell complain as much as I want!
Thanks for reading and for leaving your comment, I really appreciate your opinion
I envy those who can get a sugardaddy….. (without the shame).
this comment isn’t going to be very helpful but I think that possibly it’s so difficult to be sexually and emotionally well-adjusted in lebanon because societal norms and values and the way that homosexuality is perceived are so fucked up… and honestly I think your types (I love them, btw) fit not only gays but some straight people as well… and I think that most of the issues that are underlined there have to do with sexuality (using sex for favors or money or being terrified of sex or just going overboard with it to the detriment of anything else) which only underline the level of discomfort that Lebanon has with sex. I’ve never honestly quite understood the way things work in Lebanon when it comes to sex. It just seems like everything has double standards and everything is repressed but then at the same time what’s supposed to be natural sexual behavior is expressed in really odd and disturbing ways. it’s a real shame, honestly. I hope my post wasn’t too much of a downer
Actually, your post made a lot of sense. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me
my pleasure
I hope they were helpful xx
“I’m Outa Here Complex”, that’s me. :’(
I’m really normal though, really…
What is normal anyway? Ok let’s not get all existentialist here.
You’re kind of right and LK has a point too. Lebanon is not normal, how do you expect Lebanese to be normal then?
The solution is to adapt and if you can manage to be “normal” I’m sure you will find someone who can “normal” too
Never give up
xx
Ooh! I forgot to write about the most important complex! The mafsoumin!!! How could that have slipped my mind? :p
Thanks for your comment Karim. I’m so sad that you’re leaving soon
How did Karim remind you of schizos?
I think everyone has problems, and the more I try to understand it the less “normalcy” makes sense to me. I am from the United States where attitudes towards the LGBTQ community are blessedly lax, and even here it’s hard to find a “normal” person. I’ve learned to appreciate people for whom they are, including their complexes and deficiencies, as long as they appreciate me in turn.
Now I’m not qualified to say anything about Lebanon and its gay scene but what LK said sounds about right. By blood I come from Russia, a country with a very similar environment surrounding gay people as in Lebanon (double standards, religious confusion, double lives, oppressive laws, political correctness that isn’t upheld, etc.) From what I’ve seen in my occasional visits to the only gay club in Moscow, everybody has some sort of problem; almost none of them are happy with themselves. I’m not surprised that one of the biggest stereotypes around gay people is that they’re all mentally disturbed, what with the oppressive atmosphere and third-party hatred that doesn’t let them be themselves. It’s definitely not healthy, whether the stereotypes are true or not.
Whups, I meant to say ‘a “normal” person, whether they are straight or gay’.
Thank you for sharing your experience Denis.
True!!
it is not just the case of Lebanon, it is what Arab gays think of being gay is..
Is it just the Arabs or is it the religiously oppressed societies as well?
by Arabs, I meant the Arab society..sure it plays a primary role but at the end the person will make his decisions.. if we have to live in the closet and secretly we can be more decent, more emotional (not dramatic)..it doesn’t mean we have to be sex addicts, or looking for someone taking care of us.. so we can live as normal guys, having good job, planning for our future without messing up with anyone’s life.. we can be “normal”
But living in the closet doesn’t make people normal. Most of the time, gays are stressed and have a lot of psychological issues (me included). Sometimes, I cannot believe how much stress and panic I undergo because of this and its really overwhelming :/
yeah true!! but do u know what.. it is not just about our “closet” it is about how gays behave. begin with cheating, lying, being sexoholic, being “bourgeoisie”, waiting someone to take care of us….and so.. don’t u think so?
Very well summarized and nice to see the buds of some “community” introspection here. Though from a quick scan of the comments it seems the “normalcy is relative” nonsense still prevails as expected. More on why things are as they are here if you’re interested: http://jeanakouri.wordpress.com/2011/10/14/another-one-bites-the-dust/
Thanks Jean for sharing. Love the post, keep up the good posts coming
Thumbs up on noticing the “I’m Outa Here Complex”. Never looked @ it that way.
I donno if it’s just me but the gay scene 5 years ago is different from what it is today and the guys keep getting freakier.
Here’s my advice to u…it gets worse. Joke. No, but really. We’re all in this together.
I wasn’t in the gay scene 5 years ago so I wouldn’t know, but I’ve always thought of my self as the more traditional type, which is really hard in this gay society.
And I hope it doesn’t get worse, I really can’t take it anymore
It won’t change. What will change is you and how you deal with it.
That’s sad, because I will need to change to the worse to adapt
heheh actually yea, and that’s what I’m passing through.. at the end u have to choose one of these options:
to be out, and may have some annoying and destructive comments from our society
to be that gay who is looking for “the ideal” (which is not exist), when you will keep looking for nothing
to change to the worse to adapt and be one of the complexes u mentioned
to move on , where the society accept u and respect u for what you are
so all my support for u dear!!
Well, simply because we live in a society where abnormality follows in every household, trauma follows you on the street, on tv, in school, just simply in every day life… people can’t always handle abnormalities like they should. I’m young and i’ve always wondered if i’ll ever be as insane or unstable when i grow up as some of the people i have met. It’s almost inevitable. However, it’s not impossible to meet a great guy, just rare.
I had just wished that you could have blogged in a more constructive way . Even if it is merely to express your feelings . As entertaining as you think it might seem , at the end of the day you are being no more than a gay cliché yourself . How about you take a more educative notion rather than a judgemental one !
Enlighten me oh wise one, how would you have blogged it in a more constructive way?